haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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