yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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