It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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