I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
