somebody snuck up and got me drunk
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
