hell yes lets make some ravioli
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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