We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
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