I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
my being single is dangerous.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Randomize
