The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
