One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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