I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize