She said her name was "party"
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
