You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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