That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
