u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
