update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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