WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
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i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
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Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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