I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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