Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry

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(609): I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry http://tfl.nu/vmjm

Replies (10) Good night (791) Bad night (4548)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.

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(401): OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever. http://tfl.nu/cy9z

Replies (197) Good night (10677) Bad night (956)
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(218): View more from Minnesota

Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.

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(218): Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace. http://tfl.nu/81g3

Replies (47) Good night (886) Bad night (4846)
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(404): View more from Georgia

"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made

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(404): "auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made http://tfl.nu/y4iq

Replies (23) Good night (799) Bad night (4636)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."

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(918): at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes." http://tfl.nu/aef0

Replies (11) Good night (605) Bad night (2971)
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(812): View more from Indiana

Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?

(1-812): View more from Indiana

You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?

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(812): Have you seen my high heels that I wore out? (1-812): You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave? http://tfl.nu/rqvo

Replies (15) Good night (7344) Bad night (901)
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(808): View more from Hawaii

white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"

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(808): white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month" http://tfl.nu/8vpl

Replies (46) Good night (14840) Bad night (1414)
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(517): View more from Michigan

the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.

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(517): the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into. http://tfl.nu/bckk

Replies (14) Good night (2929) Bad night (1769)
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(901): View more from Tennessee

She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.

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(901): She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas. http://tfl.nu/43pp

Replies (2) Good night (1261) Bad night (823)
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(574): View more from Indiana

Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool

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(574): Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool http://tfl.nu/b45a

Replies (7) Good night (652) Bad night (1376)
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(518): View more from New York

She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.

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(518): She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands. http://tfl.nu/nkts

Replies (5) Good night (1874) Bad night (528)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.

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(479): He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background. http://tfl.nu/fwy9

Replies (7) Good night (587) Bad night (1442)
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(207): View more from Maine

Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.

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(207): Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills. http://tfl.nu/z8zj

Replies (6) Good night (819) Bad night (677)
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(540): View more from Virginia

We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.

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(540): We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment. http://tfl.nu/ze3a

Replies (3) Good night (1517) Bad night (297)
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(952): View more from Minnesota

I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.

(1-952): View more from Minnesota

The tryst?

(952): View more from Minnesota

The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.

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(952): I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst. (1-952): The tryst? (952): The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity. http://tfl.nu/9sse

Replies (2) Good night (789) Bad night (151)

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