Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (646): Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"? http://tfl.nu/cjp8
  Replies (7) Good night (1192) Bad night (592)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers http://tfl.nu/97ey
  Replies (15) Good night (25045) Bad night (1204)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life. http://tfl.nu/cd1e
  Replies (36) Good night (8735) Bad night (970)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (604): I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was. http://tfl.nu/96eh
  Replies (21) Good night (885) Bad night (6284)
• Favorite

  (+64): View more from New Zealand

  No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+64): No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker. http://tfl.nu/g6g3
  Replies (7) Good night (6165) Bad night (769)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined http://tfl.nu/1l3f
  Replies (12) Good night (4157) Bad night (1954)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  She's allergic to latex.

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Lucky bastard.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): She's allergic to latex. (678): Lucky bastard. http://tfl.nu/kpxi
  Replies (30) Good night (5903) Bad night (1703)
• Favorite

  (325): View more from Texas

  my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (325): my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song. http://tfl.nu/4wzc
  Replies (11) Good night (1366) Bad night (3639)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!

  (1-410): View more from Maryland

  the part where you beat me to him

  (410): View more from Maryland

  fair enough.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?! (1-410): the part where you beat me to him (410): fair enough. http://tfl.nu/4y3l
  Replies (18) Good night (7844) Bad night (1264)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life? http://tfl.nu/j7qa
  Replies (6) Good night (2113) Bad night (1233)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in. http://tfl.nu/9rsk
  Replies (14) Good night (3188) Bad night (912)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know. http://tfl.nu/puq8
  Replies (10) Good night (1901) Bad night (673)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'? http://tfl.nu/ngfc
  Replies (2) Good night (861) Bad night (371)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (719): What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family" http://tfl.nu/mzlk
  Replies (1) Good night (517) Bad night (355)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes http://tfl.nu/0alc
  Replies (1) Good night (493) Bad night (208)

Randomize