I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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