I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
17 People Reveal The Reasons Behind Their Foot Fetish
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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