Texts From Last Night

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  (718): View more from New York

  They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule

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  (718): They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule http://tfl.nu/5d7q
  Replies (44) Good night (1038) Bad night (3375)
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  (315): View more from New York

  They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.

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  (315): They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it. http://tfl.nu/5i1a
  Replies (12) Good night (8298) Bad night (1095)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.

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  (314): the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier. http://tfl.nu/vyfv
  Replies (6) Good night (4174) Bad night (1153)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.

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  (205): I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030. http://tfl.nu/rrwq
  Replies (6) Good night (2530) Bad night (834)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  This dude is being a total douche

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps

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  (713): This dude is being a total douche (832): Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps http://tfl.nu/sy46
  Replies (10) Good night (3805) Bad night (936)
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  (805): View more from California

  We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.

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  (805): We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits. http://tfl.nu/3ys3
  Replies (17) Good night (1069) Bad night (2603)
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  (308): View more from Nebraska

  Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days

  (1-308): View more from Nebraska

  Are you goin to rehab again?

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  (308): Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days (1-308): Are you goin to rehab again? http://tfl.nu/dce0
  Replies (13) Good night (843) Bad night (1231)
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  (438): View more from Quebec

  Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?

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  (438): Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room? http://tfl.nu/i0aj
  Replies (15) Good night (638) Bad night (1126)
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  (607): View more from New York

  Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?

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  (607): Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised? http://tfl.nu/o7ko
  Replies (4) Good night (778) Bad night (395)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?

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  (631): Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"? http://tfl.nu/xfwq
  Replies (6) Good night (1254) Bad night (521)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.

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  (214): This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family. http://tfl.nu/r35r
  Replies (4) Good night (312) Bad night (845)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much

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  (309): Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much http://tfl.nu/b8oh
  Replies (1) Good night (256) Bad night (625)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?

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  (205): You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street? http://tfl.nu/z15o
  Replies (2) Good night (938) Bad night (266)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?

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  (563): What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan? http://tfl.nu/rqqz
  Replies (7) Good night (593) Bad night (214)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios

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  (315): It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios http://tfl.nu/u2ql
  Replies (1) Good night (418) Bad night (172)

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