Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?