Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Sexist Restaurant Owner Tells Woman To ‘Keep Her Legs Open’ After Firing Her
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
19 True Stories So Scary You May Never Turn The Lights Off Again
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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