I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.