Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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