I think I died a long time ago.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
