I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
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