i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
