you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
