I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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