we're blogging at a bar
2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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