Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
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