Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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