May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
