If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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