girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
