does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Randomize
