I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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