Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
