I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
