Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Your penis caused this!
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
