i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
