I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
