Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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