It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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