but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Randomize
