Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
this hospital has no fireball
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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