Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
