if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
