Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Randomize
