I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
