belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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