fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
