At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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