you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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