All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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