I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
