Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
COCAINE IS GR8
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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