He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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