I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
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The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
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Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.