I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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