maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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