thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
