Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I need water and some morals
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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