These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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