I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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