dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
