vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
