she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
