OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
