oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
