i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
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